Date: Monday, 12 October 2026
Moon phase: Waxing crescent
Consuming: Watching 12 Monkeys
Doing: Canning apples
Song of the day: “Till the Wheels Fall Off” — Strung Like a Horse
CoStar: “Thank your negative thoughts for trying to protect you, then release them.”
QOTD: “He who works with his hands and his head and his heart is an artist.” — often attributed to St. Francis of Assisi
Good morning, my lover.
You are really much more to me than I let on. And your decisions affect me much more than I let on. Your temperature is the weather here.
Saturday, when you should have called me back, was a true unhappy event for me. I am truly burnt out and could have used the arms of support, but this exposes a deeper, more real issue, darling, which is that I am the master of my own future. And that I’ve been talking myself off the ledge for years.
No, I am never again repeating the fall of man via Niagara Falls. So the ledge is one that sits at the juncture between who I really am and who this relationship has demanded I be.
The honest step for me, a conqueror, has always been to change the environment to suit me, to move the mountain so that I may build in the subsequently larger valley.
The thing which is outside my nature is passively waiting for the mountains to move, baby. And in knowing what you want and what I want, I am feeling even less like myself.
I refuse to promise to behave in someone else’s best interest if it is not in our best interests. I am going to eventually be true to my nature, and you will be left holding the pieces, my dear.
