Not Enough is Enough

My Darling, you rough and tumble but truly sweet creature,

I see you, I feel you, and I love you. Last night you bared part of yourself to me and I so appreciate the truth and the concern you expressed for me. I love you for so many reasons, but this is one that is insurmountable, the pinnacle of your caring– so much that once again you would hurt your own heart for another’s well-being. You are always going to be my heart’s desire, my body’s food and my soul’s mate. My one and only. My light at the end of the tunnel.

What we spoke of last night, in the moonlit darkness, hidden from the world, was what you think I deserve, and why I don’t want you to think about that too much. I stumbled through this because I am utterly comfortable with written communication, but my tongue goes rogue when I try to speak my thoughts directly. I appreciate that you believe I deserve more, I appreciate that you “wish you were younger”. Perhaps I am spinning this, but when in the context of the conversation, it seems as if you’d like to be the one to make sure I get my “deserved” more. And for a longer period than what you think nature will let you offer, even if major changes occurred and you could provide this nebulous “more”. And there is nothing I would like better than to partner in this with you. This is what we are meant for, I believe.

But…

The situation made us what we are, even though is has been our biggest obstacle. Does the situation frustrate us, trip us up and maybe even keep us apart? Yes, hell it infuriates me occasionally. But because of the struggles, the need for utter honesty with and faith in one another, we have built a foundation that Atlas would be envious of, unbreakable. Difficulties break many a relationship, but they have continually strengthened ours. For this I am grateful to the hardships. We are in love, in a relationship of equals, with respect and friendship being the core of what we have become. There are a thousand, no hundreds of thousands of tiny decisions that we have each made that could have broken us, but instead we trusted ourselves and our connection enough to make the choices which have brought us to this current elevated, elusive real love that will outlast both of us.

We have been destined and groomed by the universe to love one another unconditionally.

~NeverendingLoveLetter.com

The truth is, my love, that I have loved you all along and in part because of, not despite, the choices you have had to make that do not benefit us. This makes me sound like an absolutely crazy woman who likes to be less than. But that would be simplistic and devoid of my real reasoning. I love the parts of you that will not put your needs before someone else’s. Most especially those that completely depend on you. Even if that is the only reason we are not together. I love the parts of you that become frustrated by your own, exceptionally kind, actions. I love the selfish part of you that considers the options, anyway. I love the man who works and calls it fun, plays and calls it fun, and makes love to me, dines with me, walks with me, and makes sure it’s fun. The one who is my heartbeat.

We also briefly touched on something I believe that it is imperative that you understand. I am going to do the things that your ego wants me not to. I want, need to and will be here when things get not so perfect. And I will be honored to do all the things which you wish no one had to, because the least you deserve. To age with dignity and a partner who wants to be there for it. I absolutely want to be the one who you turn to, and if there is a necessity, provides the assistance, the solution, the safety net. I will be there, and that is all there is to it.

Our relationship is unshakeable, our love sonnet worthy and our friendship sincere. Our love affair is never going to end because in so many ways we are one. No matter the inconveniences, no matter the troublesome thoughts and shoulda and couldas. I am thankful and graced by both the God and Goddess that I get to experience this, fabled falling and staying in love with my one true soulmate. I have all that I need, in you.

~NeverendingLoveLetter.com